Monday, 29 September 2014

A Tribute To All Mothers. Random Monday Thoughts

I was in/on (I'm not sure again) a plane yesterday evening sitting by the window.  On the aisle seat was a lady. The middle seat was empty. Ha…bliss. I thought. Too soon.
A hostess whispers into the ears of my seat mate and she gets up. Okay, just me. Nice. Again, I thought too soon. In her place was a lady with a baby. I found myself praying, dear Lord, please let this not be one of those irritable babies. Amen. As if on cue, the baby smiles at me. I heave a sigh of relief. 
The air hostess again. This time she came for me. “Ma’am, do you mind if I re-sit you?” “I do” I said calmly. There was no need to feel bad. I’d taken off my shoes, my bag was under there somewhere and I didn’t feel like moving. Maybe I should have. She asked the guy in front of me and he got up promptly. Guys… very easygoing human beings. In his place the hostess sat another lady with a bigger baby. It became apparent after a short while that the two kids – the one beside me and the one she was carrying, were hers, the lady I mean.

All seemed well until the pilot said it was raining Sodom and Gomorrah in Lagos and landing wouldn’t be safe in that kind of weather so we had to wait for about 30 minutes. For a flight that had been postponed twice, everyone had gotten tired of waiting. When the babies heard the pilot’s announcement (I don’t know how they figured out his thick Indian accent) all hell broke loose. Both children started crying. As I looked at the belu-belu of the one beside me, I thought, "Wow, Maria Carey in the making.” That child belched notes I didn’t know existed – At the top of her lungs. She only stopped long enough to take long swigs of air and continued, sometimes in a different octave. The child in front supported with bass notes. Passengers all over craned their necks to find the culprit. I could swear the woman sank lower in her chair.

By the time the plane began to taxi and we took off, I knew it was going to be a long trip. And it was. Those children cried. It was insane. Just when I thought, “Whew, finally they are drifting off to sleep”, they would resume with even more enthusiasm. 

Where is the children's father sef? I pictured him in a beer parlour drinking Chairman and arguing about Man-U and hissed. Poor woman. Dealing with all this by herself. I won’t be surprised if she has to go to work tomorrow.

When we landed, the plot reached a climax. Since I was born, I have never heard the kind of shrieking I heard from those kids, especially the one beside me. When it all became too much, the mother asked for the smaller baby to be handed to her while she passed the other kid to her nanny/relative. The other kid did not like it one bit and wailed in protest.

As passengers disembarked I could hear the women among them:

“Give her water now?”

"Breastfeed the child for God’s sake!”

“Stand up and shake her!”

“Put her on your back,”

“Check her diaper”

“It’s her ear, she’s feeling a lot of discomfort.”

The woman just nodded at them all in confusion. It’s amazing how people can assume they know what your problem is and exactly how to fix it. When I walked past, I smiled and told her pele. Maybe I shouldn’t have because at that moment, she looked like she was going to cry.

My God. I hope I wasn’t like those kids as a child. I sincerely hope I wasn’t.

To all mothers out there, this is a heartfelt tribute to you. God bless you for the sacrifices that you make daily. May God give you the strength you need to go through each day and may your labour not be in vain.

While we are still on the subject, I think married couples should have a timetable for lovemaking or something. Guys, use her period calculator to know when eggs are lining up in her womb for fertilization and make sure your zipper stays well, er, zipped. Help your women space their children. I mean, why should a woman be 5 months pregnant while suckling another child. I think it’s wickedness. Infact, it should be one of the things God should judge on the last day.

And since we have the habit of saying “Eku” everything in Lagos (I heard a Yoruba woman say Eku Ebola. True), eku Monday everyone. Do have a swell week ahead :)

©Naomi Lucas
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Gawd! Naomi Lucas!!! How do you make a story out of daily live? Welldone mi lady

Adaugo said...

Mothers are a blessing! now i feel bad cos i was told i cried so much my mum almost ran away...i should buy her something this weekend.

Naomi Lucas said...

Lol. Mirian, the stories make themselves oh.

Naomi Lucas said...

Lol. Mirian, the stories make themselves oh.

Naomi Lucas said...

Lol. Mirian, the stories make themselves oh.

Naomi Lucas said...

Adaugo, your comment cracked me up, lol