Friday, 20 May 2011

...Nice To Meet You!



How many times have you been asked if you knew someone and you said you did without missing a heartbeat even though you’ve never met them before and your only encounter with the person is watching a movie he/she starred in? It’s even worse these days ‘cos our relationships have moved to cyberspace. We are comfortable talking to friends for months or even years on end without physical contact. I looked at my friends list a few days back and wondered where you all came from. Lol. Sometimes I do stuff that has shocked, disappointed, surprised and touched many who thought they knew me. Reason is, they really didn’t. To the few who really do, nothing I do comes as a surprise. So here’s a little help in demystifying me.

My name is Naomi Lucas. Don’t ask how old I am, it’s rude :)
I have been told I look like Brandy; me I think I’m finer jor, but then, beauty is in the eye of the beholder right?

I’m from Nassarawa State. Ndi Nassarawa Kwenu, lol. Unbelievable shey? I agree. I have a nagging feeling I was adopted but popsie doesn’t want to tell me.

I sing and play the guitar pretty well and it’s the first thing I do most mornings when I wake up.

I love to cook; I don’t really like to eat. I wish there was a way to dump the food in my tummy without me having to chew and swallow; I could do a lot with that time.

I knit with four pins all at once and believe it or not, my dad taught me.

I’m a writer and an aspiring author. I’m currently working on a project involving young girls that has me travelling pan Nigeria and I love it.

Honestly, I’m not sure if I’m outgoing or introverted. I love my company and find as much fulfilment just hanging out with me as with my friends. I make friends in a heartbeat and love to meet people.

I love my space and like when it is respected, thank you. No knocking on my front door flashing a smile and saying ‘Was in the hood so I thought to stop by’. Hello???

I’m gifted with an unending inquisitiveness that sometimes irritates even me. Often I tell people I’m meeting for the first time to stop me when the questions become too many or get too personal.

I’m simple and love simple things like ewa agoin, agege bread, cheese balls, sugarcane, dates, taking my nieces swimming, cracking stupid jokes with my sisters, mimicking people and bargain hunting. I like what I like for the simple reason that I like it. If you don’t, go hug transformer, lol.

I believe there’s always something to laugh about no matter the situation; most of my phone conversations end with the person at the other end of the line laughing.

I’m an optimist through and through; I rarely ever see reasons why ‘it’ can’t be done.

 I’m generous to a fault. It’s just recently I started giving with a little more sense. Some people have developed a knack for having emergencies that conveniently spring up between the 25th and 30th of every month if you get my drift.

I can be annoyingly persistent and find that I get people to do things more to get me off their backs than anything else.

 If I decide to do something, it doesn’t occur to me that I can’t.  

 I trust people before they give me a reason to. I believe people are inherently good, but sometimes the need for self preservation kicks in.

I’m quite compassionate and find that what others go through affects me a lot. I remember when I used to go through the papers and cry when I saw obituaries, Imagine...

I’m naturally a happy person. I hate confrontations and would do anything to avoid one.  I usually run away from tension and wonder why some people deliberately carry the weight of the world on their shoulders. Isn’t that what Jesus died for?

I love myself and the body I’m in. I’m very outspoken and have no qualms expressing myself. I have been told I don’t walk, I march; and walk in like I own the place.

I have a whole lot more male friends than I do females. I find members of my own specie petty and sometimes shallow with the exception of a few. All they talk about is marriage, what their husbands/boyfriends have done or haven’t done, the latest Brazilian weave, Brad, Jolie and their latest adoption and the outrageous cost of Chioma’s latest shoe;  It’s quite tiring you know.

Talking about shoes, I love shoes mainly because I’m a 42 and rarely find nice stuff my size. It’s about the only thing I buy on impulse. I remember asking some Igbo guy who dealt in shoes for a size 42 sandal. After looking through his collection endlessly, he found one, but it was lemon green. Patiently, I asked if he had the black version. Enraged he spat ‘You no tank God say we find your size, you dey ask for black, Mschew’. Ha!  Like it was my fault I had big feet.

I have never bought a phone in my entire life. Thinking back, I was happy when my phone was stolen. I felt relieved. I stayed without a phone for over a quarter before my MD, out of frustration and after calling me a bloody aboki, bought me one complete with a sim card and credit. Presently I use an iPhone, sent to me by my brother who felt his rep was at stake after seeing the battered Sony Erricsson I was using. When my friends insist I get a blackberry, I look at them like they need psychiatric evaluation. Carrying one phone is already too much trouble, lol.

I love God with all my heart. He is the reason for my being, the essence of my existence and my best friend. He’s got my back 2.4 and stays long after everyone else has gone. When I get overwhelmed I just run into his arms and stay there. So yeah, you guessed right, I’m daddy’s little girl.

I’m not finicky about food but I hate porridge yam, God knows. I can’t stand people with airs. I do not like being shouted at, it gives me heartburn. I hate injustice; till date my dad is grateful I didn’t end up studying law like I intended, he thinks I would have ended up with Gani (Bless his soul) or some other radical.

I have perfectionist tendencies. You give me a memo and the first thing I see is the spot where you missed a full stop, so that makes me kinda challenging to work with. I’m working on it, I promise :)

If wishes were horses, I would round up everyone above 50 in this country and put them in an old peoples’ home with an electrified fence on some Island with lots of Ludo and Whot games to keep them company so that Nigeria can move forward.  I better stop here :)

One more thing, I have also found out that I discover something new about me like once every hour, so in an hour, what you know about me will be outdated. But in the meantime...nice to meet you!

Phew!

©Naomi Lucas

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